


Cowardice

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Community: badbadbathhouse, Drunkenness, Family Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 16:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2276451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dojima's a coward for trying so hard to escape his problems that he turns into this. Souji's a coward for not properly defending himself. Yosuke's a coward for letting it happen from the sidelines. </p><p>Or, what happens when Dojima let's his drinking problem get so out of hand that he takes it out on Souji, only he doesn't notice because not only is he an angry drunk, but a forgetful one too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How it all started

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for a fairly old prompt on part 7:
> 
> link to prompt: http://badx2bathhouse.livejournal.com/543.html?thread=1572383#t1572383
> 
> full prompt: Dojima's drinking reaches a point where he's coming home, beating the shit out of Souji, who always stays up to make sure he gets home, blacking out, and remembering nothing in the morning. Souji quietly bears it, lets Yosuke take care of him when it's really bad but otherwise does nothing for fear of what would happen to Nanako. Dojima notices the marks and bruises on Souji, thinks Yosuke is the one doing it, and confronts him. 
> 
> a/n: just in case anyone isn't clear- there isn't going to be any sexual abuse. I really don't think I could write that. Physical abuse is as angsty as I can get (and let's be honest it's angsty enough on its own). As for pairings, I might hint at some Souji/Yosuke but it isn't the main idea. Also, after looking it up, Souji is apparently 1cm taller than Dojima, but that's not really a difference you can tell without a direct comparison.

Souji never liked Dojima's drinking habits. Even before it was anything overly harmful, when Dojima was about as violent as a kitten. It still made Souji leery, perhaps it was that zombie-like shuffle, or those eyes that changed between uncomfortably vacant and uncomfortably sharp. Maybe it would be different if Dojima was a happy drunk, but he wasn't. He became surly and withdrawn, and despite the temporary mental handicap, some part of his detective nature still stood out. That was Souji's first warning sign. When a man was so drunk that he wasn't himself and yet still kept the outlook of someone who sniffed out criminals, well, that was something to worry about.

But still. Whenever he did get like that, Dojima at least had the decency to stay out extra late. That way, no matter how much she might want to, Nanako would never stay up late enough to find her dad like this. That was the main reason that Souji never tried to intervene. There was some hope that Dojima would help himself. There was the fact that Souji didn't really know where he stood with Dojima and if pointing out his drinking problems would be overstepping some boundary. There was also just a general dislike of conflict. Souji was great at helping people out, but he never could extend the first hand- people had to come to him. But all those reasons were only preferences. The second Nanako was affected (more so than she always had been anyways, what with the loneliness and the distance. But there wasn't much Souji could do about that other than fill in the gaps) was the second Souji would stop things. How didn't matter, but he would do it. 

With that reasoning, the problem seemed not so problematic. Well, Dojima still unnerved Souji when he was like that, but there was a plan involved. Boundaries were set. As long as Souji kept a watchful eye, the situation would stay under control. 

That was why, when the next time Dojima came home near blackout drunk, Souji was entirely unprepared. Right off the bat, he could tell something was different. Usually Dojima would at least attempt to pull his shoes off at the front. Souji always knew because he waited for Dojima on days like this. Otherwise Dojima would just crash in the living room and be grumpier the next day. So, as usual Souji was studying at the living room instead, where he could intercept Dojima before he made too much noise or fuss and help him get to bed. 

Again though, this time was different. Dojima's gaze snapped to Souji as soon as the door was opened. He slammed it behind him and strode into the room. Souji held back a frown- wearing shoes around the house made him uncomfortable but he had a feeling that visible emotions would be a bad idea right now. Dojima held no such reservations, scowling openly at Souji. 

“What're you even doing here?” He grumbled, nearly causing Souji to jump. Dojima almost never actually addressed him, other than to groan in annoyance or beckon for help. Not to say it didn't happen at all, but it was fairly rare. Souji hoped this meant he was not quite as far gone as usual.

Of course, with all of that hoping he did, it was no surprise Souji was the Fool.

“I was waiting for you to come back. Do you need help getting to bed?” Souji answered calmly, standing up at the same time just in case Dojima needed steadying. He did look to be swaying a bit, after all.

“No, dumbass. Why are you here?” Dojima sounded clearer now, still somewhat slurred but definitely legible. But that didn't make him more sensible. 

“I was studying, and planning to check up on you before bed,” Souji hoped that changing his words around might help. Maybe it was an issue of independence? Self mobility maybe? Souji had heard of senior people becoming angry and stubborn when others had to help them do things that they used to be able to do on their own. 

But this only made Dojima look more annoyed. Or maybe, that expression was more angry? It certainly seemed so as Dojima stepped closer. He managed to loom over Souji somehow, despite them being the same height. Did he have his detective persona out now? Souji tried to conceal a smile at the slight joke. Something must have shone through though, because Dojima's scowl darkened.

“You think this is funny? Haven't answered my question.” His voice was louder now, and Souji almost tried shushing the older man, but managed to stop himself. With as much calmness and collection as he could manage (which was still quite a lot), Souji tried again.

“Uncle, you've been out drinking. I am down here because I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“No!” And that was closer to an actual shout, though thankfully Nanako had been asleep long enough that she wouldn't wake up at it. “Why are you here?” 

Souji was stumped, Dojima was not making much sense. But it seemed Dojima didn't care if he made no sense, as he got even more irritated at the lack of answer. He stewed for a few moments, glaring at Souji.

“Why are you in my house!?” 

Souji was bewildered. Was Dojima so drunk that he couldn't tell who was who? Was he mistaking Souji for some trespassing stranger? “Uncle, it's me, Souji. I've been here since April.”

“I'm not stupid!” Dojima is loud still, but this time it feels even louder than it actually is. For the first time, Souji is actually feels threatened. He feels bad about it- this is Dojima for goodness sake- but that doesn't stop it. Dojima's aggressive posture isn't helping.

“I'm not sure what you're-” Souji is more hesitant now, and is easily cut off. 

“Don't talk back to me! Tell me why I shouldn't kick you out right now!” Souji can't help it. He's concerned for Dojima, and also a bit afraid. And now he feels hurt, too. It had to be the booze talking, but he didn't have to sound like he regretted taking Souji in. 

There were many reasons that Souji shouldn't be kicked out, but he wasn't sure what would appeal to an irrational, angry, sloshed Dojima. “I.. wouldn't have anywhere to go?” It was more of a question, but that didn't matter. He just had to keep his emotions in check, stay soft and non threatening. 

“Hah! You make enough friends, that Junes kid would take you.” It wasn't much of a laugh that Dojima let out, more of a derisive, angry sound. Souji inwardly panicked, not letting it show on his face. Was Dojima actually considering kicking him out, even in this state? Was it for real? It was true that Yosuke and his parents probably wouldn't mind, not to his knowledge, if he had to sleep over one night. 

It was a possibility. Dojima would wake up tomorrow and apologize sheepishly and promise not to get to that level of drunkenness again. Maybe it would be better just to go along with it. But still, a large part of Souji was annoyed. Just being older and stressed and having the problems he had did not give Dojima the right to be this irrational. So, with a flatness that took more effort than before, Souji answered. 

“Nanako wouldn't be happy if you kicked me out.” Souji hated to involve Nanako in this but it was the truth, and maybe a mention of his daughter would calm Dojima down, maybe make him realize how crazy he was being. 

Souji couldn't have predicted that it would make him worse. “Don't you dare guilt trip me, Seta!” Dojima practically spat at Souji as he said it, no small amount of rage in his voice. Souji stared at the pure hate in his expression. He was sure that this time his surprise and nervousness was no longer held back, even though he tried to school himself. Maybe that's why he didn't notice the raised hand until it clumsily bludgeoned the side of his face. 

Souji reeled back as if he'd been struck by a strong shadow. It had been somewhere between punch and slap, maybe closer to a backhand than anything. Souji could feel the wideness in his own eyes as he stared. “Dojima?” He half whispered, almost not believing what had happened. 

Dojima, for his part, looked slightly confused, some kind of hesitation blunting the anger. “Tch. You look like your Dad.” He grumbled, more quietly than the near shouting of before. They both stared at the other for what seemed like several minutes, before Dojima turned with a grunt and started ambling up the stairs to his bedroom. “I hate that bastard.” Was the last intelligible words Souji heard as Dojima disappeared around the corner. 

Souji stayed where he was for a while longer, feeling where the strike had landed. It was fairly sore- Dojima had a strong arm- but there had been worse injuries by shadows. Too bad this didn't happen in the tv where it would be healed easily- regular world injuries took time. And this would probably bruise. Finally, Souji let out a long sigh, easing the tension that had built up over the encounter. No one was there to judge him if the sigh was a little shaky.


	2. How a decision was made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When faced with the realization the Dojima remembers nothing and the reality of a second occurrence, Souji must make a decision on how he will deal with this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my characterization is all right. Since we're given all those dialogue options, I always pictured the protag as very contemplative and in control of his thoughts and emotions. He seems like a logical guy, maybe not as smart as Naoto but more considering of what voice he uses where. You can probably tell I've only played the game and not watched the anime or anything lol
> 
> also, like always, this stuff isn't proofread or anything. I dislike editing and refuse to do it for kinkmeme fills. So take the grammar mistakes and sentence fumbling in stride please.

It was shockingly easy to pass off the bruise as nothing. In the morning, it hadn't even been that big, just a small dark splotch where the knuckle had met his cheekbone. The rest was gone, having only been a bit red in the first place. He could easily pass it off as running his face into an open cupboard. The only thing he was actually worried about was Dojima. Not that he thought it would happen again, and certainly not in the morning when Dojima was sober. Souji was just worried how he would take the whole thing. An apology, sure, that was expected. What he didn't want to see is how much it would bother his uncle. Souji did not want to see Dojima beat himself up really bad, especially if it lead to him drinking again. He would much rather just have a firm promise not to get so far gone again.

Luckily Dojima was already gone before anyone else got up. Even his drinking didn't change that. At school, Souji got even less comments on the small mark than he feared, and was easily able to divert the ones that did comment. Even Yosuke laughed and teased Souji at the explanation, and his partner was strangely perceptive when it came to Souji. If only Yosuke could apply that to the others in the investigation team, maybe he wouldn't stick his foot in his mouth so often.

The last thing Souji was expecting when he saw Dojima for the first time since the incident was a casual greeting. “Hey Souji. School okay?” 

It was a standard response. The same thing he asked Nanako. There was nothing different about his tone, and Dojima barely even lifted his face from the newspaper. Souji couldn't help but stare. It wasn't even that Dojim was just controlling his voice and avoiding eye contact, because a few seconds later Dojima dragged his eyes up in amused confusion. There was nothing, no hint of what happened last night. 

Did he somehow not remember?

“What's up?” Dojima finally asked, having apparently no clue why his nephew was staring with an expression halfway between surprised and blank. Then Dojima blinked, tilted his head a little, and focused on the light bruise adorning Souji's face. “Where'd you get that?” he gestured at the mark, a hint of concern in his voice, but nothing that indicated Dojima knew anything about it.

He really didn't remember. Souji settled from surprise to sheepishness and let out the excuse he gave to everyone else. Dojima gave a wordless sound of agreement when Souji mentioned being more observant from now on, going back to his newspaper. Souji mechanically walked up to his room, barely stopping to greet Nanako.

There was nothing he could do about it. If Dojima didn't know, Souji wasn't about to say anything. After all, what sense was there in adding more stresses than he already had, especially if this was a one time thing? The murder cases were already too much for Dojima to handle, if he was getting that drunk. And it wasn't as if Souji and the Investigation team were helping him any. It was all they could do to just rescue people, and since Dojima didn't know what they were doing, it just seemed like a group of high schoolers were getting in the way. 

And really, Souji shouldn't be too surprised about the forgetfulness. If Dojima was so trashed that he would hit Souji, then it wasn't too far fetched that he would be too trashed to remember anything. Getting black out drunk wasn't too unheard of, was it? 

After that, Souji honestly thought that there would not be a next time. He hoped that Dojima would at least recognize that drinking so much that he even had a blackout was bad news and would avoid it from then on. But maybe he always forgot those nights, and it was only noticeable now because of what had transpired. It would explain why Souji never really got thanked for helping Dojima out. Or maybe it was his fool arcana speaking. Either way, there was a next time.

It almost took him more by surprise the second time than the first time. Maybe when he was drunk he could remember what he couldn't while sober, because it did not take as long as before. It started similar, Dojima looking and acting more distracted than usual before focusing in on Souji. 

Instead of questioning his presence, Dojima appeared to take offence at it. “I don't want to see your face here.” He nearly snarled. Souji stepped back a bit. Could this have to do with that off hand comment about his Dad? Was there some drama between the in laws that Souji didn't know about? 

“Don't even know why I let you stay!” Dojima was irate. Souji breathed deeply. He needed to stay calm, there was no proof that Dojima would get physical again just because there were a few parallels. 

“Uncle,you should get to bed. You aren't feeling well.” Souji reasoned in his best strong but non aggressive tone, the same he used as leader of the investigation team. 

“Don't coddle me!” This time Souji saw the arm movement, but it was still too quick and too bewildering to be dodged. This one hit the upper side of his head, the same place he smacked Adachi whenever he said something stupid. Only, Souji was pretty sure Adachi never got hit this hard, unless Adachi had an exceptionally thick skull. He could almost see stars. 

Slower than he would react in the tv, but still fast by most standards, Souji straightened himself- the smack had sent his head to the side. “Dojima, you aren't yourself right now.” Souji thought maybe his actual name would send some sense into him. 

His response was a growl, then a lunge. Souji leaned back, but Dojima had quick reflexes even in this state, and managed to grab Souji by his upper arm. Dojima swung his arm back and threw Souji down, hard enough that he slapped the ground. 

“Don't you dare talk back to me!” Souji complied, not moving a muscle. He could scarcely believe that this was even the same person. It was almost like they were in the tv, and this was Dojima's shadow. That would have been much better, having a supernatural cause. But no, Souji checked again just in case, and there was no dark aura that all shadows had, no glowing yellow eyes. Dojima looked down as if he was contemplating doing worse. But then he scoffed, rolled his eyes and stepped away with an unusually controlled gait. Maybe the physical violence heightened his balance, because he almost walked like a sober man. If it wasn't for the loud slap of feet that didn't care one bit about noise, Souji wouldn't have been able to tell. 

Apart from the obvious, of course. Souji stayed on the ground for a bit longer, stretching and testing himself. Physically, he was okay. Again, shadows had done much worse before. Even the first weakling shadows at the tv liquor store were worse than a smack on the head and a tumble to the ground. Of course, his limbs were nearly shaking and there was a definite sourness in his throat, but that wasn't from physical damage. 

The next day, Souji was both surprised and unsurprised when Dojima clearly remembered nothing. Not surprised because there was a precedent. If he didn't remember the first time, why would he remember now? But also surprised because he had inwardly hoped that something would happen. That he wouldn't be the only one witness to those events. Maybe somehow, Dojima's conscience would leap forward to tell him that he'd done something wrong. Even a shred of detective's intuition would have been thanked. But there was nothing. 

Souji nearly bit his lip, stopping the nervous tic before anyone could see. He was at a crossroads. Even through the hopefulness, Souji could no longer assume there would be no more incidents. It was still a possibility, a strong one even, but it could no longer be the primary one. Souji may be a fool but he wasn't dumb.

So, he could either tell Dojima, tell someone else, or tell nobody. There were pros and cons to each outcome. If he told Dojima, he might stop, or he might spiral even more into depression and become worse than ever. Even if he didn't drink, there were other things Dojima could do. Things even more dangerous than ruining his liver. And there was Nanako to think of, too. Dojima could easily get so guilt ridden and worried that he sent Nanako away out of fear that he would beat her, too. That would kill both of them.

If Souji told someone else, that would open up a whole other bag of worms. Tell the wrong person, and they could blow things up, maybe try to confront Dojima in Souji's defense. That would lead to scenario one. Or, even worse, they could go public with it. Dojima would lose his career, the respect of the town, and maybe Nanako as well. That could very well kill all three of them. 

The last option was to tell nobody. It would solve nothing, but also cause nothing. If it kept happening, it would just make the first two scenarios worse options, trapping him in isolation. But if it stopped on its own, nobody would know any better besides Souji. And maybe there would be a way to minimize the damage, such as sticking to his room and not waiting up for Dojima anymore. 

It was a cowards gamble, the pansy's option. But Souji had always been a bit of a coward.


	3. How it got worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji tries out a strategy and it fails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor soujiiii
> 
> yosuke getting in on things is next chapter. also, a reminder that while there may be shippy moments this is not a predominantly ship fic. But since I like the pairing, there will be cute moments. Just not outright shipping. 
> 
> oh, and, since I didn't do anything but play the game, I have no idea if the stuff I say here about injuries in tv world versus regular world is true. Maybe somewhere over in that realm of medium it explains things. I just thought this way would make sense. If it isn't true, just roll with it please.

The third time it happened, Souji tried to prepare. The past two times had both been triggered by his presence, so if he wasn't there, Dojima probably wouldn't do anything. There was the downside that if Dojima wasn't like that, and was just the usual helpless drunk, there would be no one to help him. But Souji figured that was a small price that Dojima would be fine paying if he knew what was going on. 

Of course, Souji still stayed up. He had to, there was no one else to make sure he actually got home. Dojima was smart enough to not drive, but there were still risks involved with walking home alone in the early hours of the morning while heavily inebriated. However, this time it was done from a safe place with a careful ear. 

Souji heard the front door open and close, tearing his eyes from the study material and to his room's own closed door, in the vague direction of the noise. There was some shuffling, not too quiet or loud. Perhaps Dojima was back to his usual self, or perhaps Souji's plan had worked. The shuffling continued around a bit, and as Souji strained his ears he thought he could hear the fridge open and slam. Was Dojima eating, at this hour? 

There was a pause, and then a clicking and hissing sort of noise. Souji froze. There was no way that sound was what he thought it was. A large thump and whoosh sounded, most likely Dojima falling onto the couch. Perhaps he was crashing there. But then, what had that sound been? 

A shiver went down Souji's back as he came to the conclusion- there was always so little in the fridge that it could only be one thing. It was the sound of a bottle opener being used. Only beer fit that description, anything else bottled would have a plastic twist off cap. There was no way, though. If he kept drinking now, Dojima could really be hurt. He could even die. 

Of course, the sound could also be all in Souji's head. It was a worst case scenario. And Dojima had never done such a thing before. Then again, until recently, he had never raised a hand to Souji before. He had to be sure. Silently, Souji opened his bedroom door and crept down the stairs. 

Dojima had the bottle to his lips, though only a few mouthfuls were missing. He smiled, but it was dark and spiteful, and Souji was reminded of shadow selves yet again. He also realized that the smile had been aimed at him- Dojima did not miss him coming down. 

“Come to order me around?” Dojima gestured to the beer in his hands. Souji neglected to answer, slowly inching closer. So far everything seemed to grow worse when he spoke up. It was disconcerting, because Souji's strong point had always been his ability to keep a cool head and reason with people. “Figured you'd drag your sorry ass down here. Didn't think it'd be so soon though.”

Souji couldn't help but pause. That seemed like an awful amount of thinking ahead for someone who was well past the point of inebriation. His detective mind was still at work despite the block on rational thought towards human beings. He settled for asking, “You expected me to come?” 

Dojima snorted. “Obviously. For a brat, you sure like to mother everyone. Must get it from your dad.” Slowly he started to stand up from his place on the couch. Souji tensed, hating that he even had to. “Did you know,” Dojima started casually, making his way over to the sink, thankfully passing Souji entirely. “That ass hole never even offered rent?” Dojima began to tilt the bottle over the sink. Souji nearly breathed a sigh in relief, even if he wasn't comfortable with the speech. It was a waste of money, but better there than in Dojima. 

As if hearing Souji's thoughts, Dojima paused, lifting the bottle's neck up before much had really poured out. “What, you wanted me to dump it?” He mocked, instead bringing it up to his lips. And then he began to chug. Souji froze yet again. Drunken Dojima was clearly testing him. He wanted Souji to stop him? Or maybe he wanted to see what Souji was willing to try? He didn't want to waste any time, but there weren't many options. Speaking was bad, and he really didn't want to initiate anything physical. 

“Uncle please. Stop.” He finally said. But that only made Dojima more determined, and he kept drinking, his face red. Souji didn't know how far Dojima could go before he passed out and maybe even got alcohol poisoning. He needed action, sure and swift. He needed to be like he was in the tv. 

Souji steeled himself before taking a large step forward. He reached up in one certain move and grasped the butt of the bottle, pulling it down sharply. Dojima let out a feral sounding growl, kneeing Souji in the gut. He hadn't been expecting assault from the legs and gasped, losing his grip. The next thing he knew, the bottle, a bit less than half full, was swinging at him. 

Souji tried to defend, but it was hard. He felt slower, clumsier in the real world. He lacked confidence without his persona, and he lacked determination when the opponent was family. His emotions were in turmoil, half wanting to curl up and cry, the other half horrified and wanting to run away. Plus, Dojima was strong, unexpectedly so for a non field officer. Souji didn't stand a chance.

It was worse this time, too. Dojima wasn't letting up at one or two strikes. He was coming again and again with the bottle and with his other fist. In the gut, the face, on the arms if Souji was fast enough to block. He kept moving backwards, hoping to put distance between them but not wanting to turn around to run. Dojima was alternating between great gasps of air and angry swears at him and his parents, but particularly his dad. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Souji wondered what the real story must be between them because it couldn't be good at this point. 

Finally, the bottle broke against the hard bone of Souji's forearm. Maybe it was thing glass, or maybe it had been weakened by the assault. Either way, Souji was doubly thankful he managed to block it. The long gash that tore across his arm would have been much worse across his face. What alcohol was left splashed across the floor in a big puddle. 

The sight even made Dojima, in all his anger, pause. He looked at the broken bottle in his hand, considering it. Souji couldn't stop staring at it. With all it's sharp edges, he could be in some real trouble. But then Dojima scoffed, throwing it to the floor to add to the mess, not caring that the action caused the glass to spread. “Too much fucking work.” he griped. Souji noted the tiredness in his posture. What adrenaline came from his actions was losing ground to exhaustion, the imbalance and sluggishness from being so far under the influence had returned. So with a few shambles, Dojima crashed half onto the couch, half on the floor. 

Before, Souji had stood stock still to come to terms with the actions. But he couldn't afford to this time, not with the injuries being more numerous and that big cut to take care of. Luckily the first aid was kept nearby in case of cooking accidents. Souji stepped forward to grab it, but a piercing pain struck his foot. Right, the glass. He felt his next steps out carefully, sliding instead of lifting to avoid cutting himself again. It was too dark to see the floor properly, and his socks were soaked by the beer anyways.

He would have to clean that up. But first, Souji knew to take care of the bleeding. Cautiously, he turned the kitchen light on. It didn't shine too far into the living room where Dojima was already snoring. That was good, the last thing he needed was for Dojima to wake up for round two. Souji redirected his attention to his arm. It was jagged looking, and honestly not very pleasant, even without the sluggish bleeding. He washed what he could and treated it with disinfectant. They never did that in the tv, since shadows were supernatural things that didn't carry germs or anything from the human world. Any infection they could cause was always immediate and obvious, like with poison. A simple persona spell could fix that, if it didn't wear off on its own.

This just reminded him that this wasn't the tv world, even if he wanted to pretend it was. And honestly, it did feel better if he pretended. Over there, injuries were normal and fleeting. Short and quickly relieved. But here it was sustained. His whole body throbbed as he wrapped his arm up. He could barely put any wait on one foot, which made sense because there was a long piece of glass stuck in it. It hurt when he removed the glass, hurt when he washed it, and hurt when he treated it. It hurt a bit less when it was wrapped in a small amount of gauze over a butterfly bandage but it wasn't nearly as nice as even a small dia would be. As far as they had experimented when Kanji had twisted his ankle once while tripping down some stairs, persona abilities didn't work on real world injuries. 

Souji didn't really know what to do with the rest of the injuries. He would probably swing by the shrine later- the fox's herbs healed in both worlds. It wouldn't be too expensive for just himself. Plus, the fox couldn't say anything even if it wanted to. 

Souji made to leave for his bed- he was exhausted and in pain- but the kitchen floor glistened up at him in the faint light. He couldn't leave it for tomorrow. Who knows how Dojima would react to it. Would he have a memory relapse? Or maybe he would blame it on Souji, who was just a teenager (which was enough of a motive in many books to drink beer and make a mess). There was no good outcome. Plus, if he didn't notice, which was entirely possible, then Nanako might find it when she woke up later. Souji couldn't have that.

He stooped to the floor with several rags. Even with the kitchen light, it was not bright enough to see the glass and he didn't trust his ability to find the broom without stepping on any more. So instead, he carefully swept what he could with his hands, using the rags as a shield. A whole bottle made a lot of glass, and there was a lot of beer that he didn't want soaking into the floor and leaving it sticky. It was going to be a long night.


	4. How Yosuke got involved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji needs an accomplice if this is going to keep happening.

It was harder from then on to hide his injuries. Souji had been able to protect his face the most, but there were still a myriad of bruises littered down his arm and across his abdomen. Not to mention the luckier shots that left a bruise to his jaw, a black eye, and a bump under his hear. He looked thoroughly beaten up. 

If Nanako had been older, he could have stolen a bit of make up. But she wasn't, and there were no other females in the house. Souji was left with very few ways to cover up. There were a few stories that would fool most people, but not something for everyone. There was the chance of getting to the fox, but as good as those leaves were, Souji doubted they would remove all the visible signs. He still didn't want to tell anybody but he needed an accomplice. Someone who trusted him enough to keep a secret and lie with him. 

Anyone outside of the investigation team was right out. He would need someone really close for this, especially since the story would have to convince the rest of them and not just outsiders. His best bet would be to say he was sparring with his accomplice, who would corroborate the lie. To outsiders, it would be a misguided attempt to learn martial arts. To the team is would be training. It was a good plan, but who should it be?

Souji thought about it. Yukiko was right out, as well as Rise. They would keep the secret, but no one would buy the story. Teddie was training already, which would be a good excuse to the team, but not to outsiders who didn't know that Teddie even existed. He would need a whole other excuse for everyone else. Chie could work, she trained too. But while Souji trusted her, he didn't know if he could trust her to keep this secret. Her sense of justice was incredibly strong, not unlike the rest of the investigation team, but she was a girl of action. Not being able to do anything would kill her more than anyone else, perhaps. There was Kanji, but everyone outside the team might think that Souji was being bullied by Kanji. They would be watching him more carefully for any damage, and if Dojima really was going to keep at this then Kanji could get expelled. 

And then there was Yosuke. He was similar to Chie in the sense that he couldn't handle the inaction. But then again he was a big part of the brain behind their earlier investigations. Even if he tended to be off the mark, he would think when things were serious. Yosuke could be contemplative when he really wanted to. There was also the fact that Yosuke really trusted him, in a way slightly different from the others. They were partners. Back when Souji was voted leader, wasn't he the first to nominate? “I don't mind playing second banana” indeed. 

Yosuke was his best bet. Souji dialed his number before he could chicken out. At this time in the morning, a text would accomplish little.

“Guhh” Yosuke groaned into the speaker. Clearly his alarm had been set later than Souji's. “What up partner?” To his credit, Yosuke did try to wake up. He probably thought it was shadow related since Souji never called anyone.

“Can you lie for me a bit? I'll explain after school.” Souji felt bad for abusing Yosuke's trust before he even knew what was happening. It was practically trapping him. But the alternative was skipping the first few classes of school, getting Yosuke to do the same, and then explaining himself. That was probably even worse.

“Is it about the tv? Should I call the others or something?” Yosuke's voice was sharper now, definitely awake. And by the sounds of it, he was scrambling to put clothes on. “Wait. You want me to what?” 

“It's not about the tv, and please don't call the others. This is something... personal.” Souji cringed at the words. It was personal, very much so. But it sounded so pathetic coming from his mouth. Souji was much better with taking care of other problems than he was sharing his own. 

There was a long pause. Souji could just picture Yosuke's face- his eyebrows diappearing under his hair as he gave the phone a double take. “I.. guess, depends on what it's about?”

“I'm sorry, it's a long explanation. I can't take up your time before school, and by lunch it will be too late.” Souji almost cursed at his own vagueness. He was normally very straight to the point. Beating around the bush wasn't the usual tactic. 

“Wait. This means you want me to lie to the rest of the team too, doesn't it?” Yosuke is accusing, and Souji bows his head. “This had better not be some shit like you going into the tv alone!”

“I promise it isn't. I'll explain later, but I need help. Please.” Souji sounded pathetic, desperate. He just knew it. He was gross for abusing Yosuke's trust, their bond as partners. But he needed help.

There was another moment of silence. Then, “Okay. It sounds pretty important. I'll do it. But you better have a good explanation for this, I'll kick your ass if it's something stupid.” Yosuke sounded resigned, yet determined. And despite his words, Souji could also read worry. He was probably hoping it would be something stupid, but knew it wouldn't be. Souji never tended to call, and especially not for shenanigans. 

“Thanks, partner.” Souji bit his cheek- he shouldn't be able to use that term right now, not like this. “When they ask what's wrong with me or why you're looking off, we were training together last night at the flood plains and I accidentally fell down the slope.”

“Wait, what!? That's steep, you could really- what am I covering up, partner?” Souji ended the call before Yosuke could ask anything else. He really was smart when he wanted to be. That serious, worried note at the end told Souji that Yosuke already knew he was covering for an injury. No doubt Yosuke's mind would fill with all sorts of horrified stuff. 

As gross as the thought was, Souji realized that Yosuke's active imagination would play in his favour. It would make him more stressed and worried, and the guilt over having to lie would be obvious to the rest of the team. In turn, that would make his explanation of the training accident more plausible. He would naturally feel responsible if Souji really HAD fallen down the flood plains, so the team would translate it into a guilt over the accident and not over a lie. 

Souji felt a bit like a detective as well now, his brain throbbing from the plotting. Or maybe it was because of the tender goose egg from the beer bottle.

The reaction at school had been bigger than expected after his first bruise. But then again, it was much worse this time. Dojima had been determined, refusing to relent. Maybe if he had fallen to the floor and feigned unconsciousness..? There was no sense worrying about it right now. Souji held back a shudder at the memory.

People he didn't know gaped. People he knew vaguely made as if to ask him, but hesitated at the look on his face. Souji purposefully tried to ignore who he could. Most of the attention was probably the black eye and mottled bruise around his jaw. He was glad that he'd waited until Nanako had left before he rushed to school, telling her he was finishing up an assignment first. The longer he could spare her from seeing, the better. 

The biggest surprise Souji faced was when even Morooka did a double take, face making a drastic change from annoyed to... was that concern in his face? He wasn't even sure it was possible for kind moron to have feelings other than exasperation and hate towards his students. But he didn't say anything, just gestured towards the classroom. The fact that he wasn't complaining about how close Souji was to being tardy was more telling than anything. It was strange.

Of course, the biggest reaction came from the team. First, those who were in homeroom. Yosuke was the first, obviously worried since the morning. He looked many emotions at once. Surprise at Souji's appearance, concern over the injuries, horror over the sight of what he was lying about, and finally a contained anger, his mouth set in a straight, firm line. He was going to get answers, and Souji immediately hoped the day would be as long as possible.

Yukiko and Chie were next. Both more openly surprised, eyes zeroing in on his face, then down his body to look for other injuries. They wouldn't be able to see anything else under his clothes, but the way he favoured his cut foot and arm would soon be obvious enough. Almost in perfect tandem, they whirled on Yosuke.

“What the hell Yosuke, what kind of training is that?” Chie was pissed. Yukiko silently simmered in agreement, eyes as burning as her agi spells. 

“I told you, he fell down the flood plains! I didn't do that! It was an accident!” Yosuke chided, stealing worried glances at Souji. He hadn't doubted his partner, but it was still a relief to know that he had kept is word and was willing to hold it out. 

“Souji, is this true?” Chie focused on him next. Souji only nodded, a picture of serenity. “Aaagh, this isn't over! You should have invited me, I could have told you not to go there, you idiot!” 

“You know I can't heal you.” Yukiko interrupted, looking more troubled now than angry. Souji could only nod again.

“I was going to visit the fox after school.” This caused some more grumblings, but by then class had started, and whatever weirdness king moron had gone through at the sight of Souji with a black eye did not extend to class time. 

Rise and Kanji didn't react favourably either, when they met up at lunch. Kanji immediately asked for the culprit, ready to roll his sleeves up and beat whoever he needed to. Yosuke made a frightened noise, but Souji managed to calm him down with the explanation. He still glared buckets at Yosuke, though.

“You need to take better care of senpai. He's our leader, you know.” Yosuke nodded, giving Souji the “I need that explanation” look. But Souji shrugged it off, frowning at Kanji.

“It wasn't his fault. I wasn't paying attention to where the hill was.”

“Still, you're hurt. You always look out for us, we gotta do the same sometimes. You should leave the training for the whole group when we go into the tv.” The others agreed with this.

Rise, for her part, hadn't said much. That was more worrying than her fussing over him like she usually did. When she actually did speak, it cause Souji's heart to fall. “I don't like seeing you hurt, senpai.” 

There was no defence for that, only an apology.

For the rest of the lunch, Souji was practically smothered. They had noticed his hurt arm and foot which only made them more protective. Souji was thankful, but now was not the useful time for it. It was especially not useful when 2nd year from the other class made a comment on how clumsy Souji must be, and they had to hold Kanji back. They were all restless, Yosuke especially so. That made it hard to ditch the rest of them when the day ended.

“How about we all go together?” Was Yukiko's response when Souji tried to leave. 

“It's fine, Yosuke's coming.”

“Yeah, but Yosuke's clearly bad luck. You don't want bad luck on the way to a shrine to heal yourself.”

Yosuke barely had the presence of mind to shout an indignant “Hey!”, but he managed to do so just in time. 

Finally, Souji had to resort to his more leader-like voice. “It's fine. You all have places to be and I hardly need a crutch. Yosuke's coming with me.” He had to cut and run quick if he wanted to avoid arguing his way out of Rise and Kanji too. Luckily, he managed to do just that, Yosuke right behind him. Nothing would get him away, that was for sure. 

He started his questions as soon as they had left the gates, but Souji managed to put him off until they reached the shrine and picked up the herbs from the fox as promised to everyone else. They managed to find a private spot somewhere in the small bushy zone behind the shrine, a far enough distance that no one would overhear. 

“Alright partner, I've waited. Who did this? If it were an accident you wouldn't have lied about it.” 

Souji ducked his head in an unusual bout of shyness. “No,it wasn't an accident. But I don't think it was on purpose, either.”

“You're not making any sense. Just say who it was. Was it other students? Maybe from the other high school? Don't tell me it was a teacher.”

“It wasn't anyone from school. It was...” Souji cut off, trying to steel himself. He was starting to panic, so he took several calming breaths. Finally, when Yosuke looked like he was going to interject again, he said it. “Dojima.”

Yosuke practically threw himself off of the log they had been sitting on. “What!?” He screeched, and Souji was very glad that no one would be able to hear them. “Dojima!? This can't be- that- but he-” Yosuke started to pace, unable to finish his sentence. He didn't ask Souji if he was sure, didn't express doubt, just allowed himself to be shocked as he took the words at face value. Souji admired that, it took effort to just trust people like that.

But he was still pacing, and mumbling to himself. “Calm down, partner.” But Yosuke would not be calm. 

“This is- this is wrong, though! He's your guardian, he can't-” Yosuke gulped. “He can't just hurt you. I never would have suspected him but, we need to do something.” Souji pulled on Yosuke's hoodie sleeve to get him to stop pacing back and forth for a moment. 

“It's only when he's very drunk though. And he doesn't remember it afterwords.” He could feel Yosuke's arm trembling slightly.

“That doesn't make it okay. Being drunk isn't an excuse for that. Partner, you have to protect yourself, too.”

“There isn't much I can do. It was only this bad because I tried to stay away, I think.” 

Yosuke's eyes widened, and Souji realized that perhaps he had said too much, or maybe the wrong thing. “He's done this before?” Ah. He had said too much. But Souji was in the hole now, so he might as well say everything.

“Only twice before. And he only gave me a smack or two. It was more the surprise.” 

Yosuke swallowed dry air, looking closer to tears than the one who was actually being beaten by their parent figure. “Do- don't say 'only' like that, as if it isn't a big deal. You were practically limping, and I saw you having trouble with that arm.”

“Well, I don't think he actually meant to break the bottle on me. The foot was just because I wasn't watching and stepped on the glass.”

Finally composed enough that he wasn't stuttering, but still quite distressed, Yosuke let out a quiet whine of concern. “He broke a glass bottle on you? He was hitting you with a glass bottle?”

Souji rolled up the sleeve that covered his cut. “It isn't that bad. You can help me apply the leaves if you want.” 

Yosuke did just that, wincing at the injury. “You say it isn't that bad, but that's really bad.”

“We've had worse from shadows and you know it.”

“But this isn't from a shadow, this is from your uncle. And it's also a real world injury.”

“... I know.” Souji quickly wrapped the bandage back over, covering the wound from sight. Yosuke helped with the other visible bruises, and though the leaves did not cause the marks to disappear, it did relieve the throbbing, and after only a few minutes the marks had receded slightly. Souji drew the line at the bruises on his chest and upper arms. There was a limit to what he was willing to show Yosuke. He would take the rest of the leaves with him and apply them when he got home. 

“So I guess we're done here.” Yosuke was using a sad, subdued tone. 

“I'm sorry. You'll keep the secret, though?”

“I shouldn't have to. You need to get out off there if you're being hurt. I could convince my parents.”

Souji shook his head. “I can't. If it got out, his life would be ruined. He'd be fired, everyone would probably shun him, and Nanako would be sent away.” Souji stressed the last part.

“I know it sounds terrible, but if he's abusing you, maybe he shouldn't be working with the police? And what if he turned on Nanako?”

Souji sighed. “He would never do anything like that sober. Only when he drinks so much. And even then, I know he would never hurt Nanako. I'm just a convenient target for him to take his frustrations out on.”

“You can't be sure of that, though. Could you forgive yourself if he beat her?” Yosuke had his eyes closed, like he didn't even want to contemplate the possibility. Neither did Souji.

“The second he tries to go near her in that state is the second I turn him over. But I'm confident he never would. He just doesn't know me as well, says I look like my dad whom he dislikes.”

Yosuke scratched his head in frustration. “Then talk to him! If he doesn't remember what he's done, he can't fix himself!”

“I can't do that.” Souji desperately tried to explain. “He wouldn't understand. It would ruin him,and he'd probably turn himself in. He'd probably think that he was a danger to Nanako and sign her away himself.”

“Aaarrgh, this is too much!” Yosuke practically cried. “Alright, I'll keep your damn secret, I'll keep the lie too. But you have to promise to tell me every time it happens, or I'll tell Dojima myself. And if it ever gets anything as bad as this again, the deals off.” 

“But Yosuke-” 

“Don't 'but' me on this, Souji. Please, promise me.” Souji nearly cursed. He needed Yosuke's help, not just now but to explain any future bruises and scrapes. And if something this bad happened again, Yosuke would need to be the cover again. Souji had no choice. 

“Okay, I promise. But you can only tell under those circumstances.” 

They finally agreed on it, shaking hands. Yosuke looked disappointed, probably with both Souji and himself. Souji knew the feeling. But there was still the rest of the day to get through, so they separated there, and Souji trudged his way home.

Nanako was needlessly worried about “big bro”'s injuries, nearly coming to tears. But Souji managed to calm her down with his explanation. It seemed to work on Dojima too, who looked so shocked for a moment that Souji feared he was having a memory relapse. But that wasn't the case, because he did buy the explanation in the end, even it took longer and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Souji just wasn't in the mood to deal with anything else though, and simply crashed in his room, dead to the world.


End file.
